Hotel bibles

c: | f: /

Open the drawer: hair dryer, check; laundry bag, check; New Testament, check.

It’s always struck me as odd practise to supply shiny bibles from the likes of Gideon in hotel rooms. It’s not so much that, amusingly and somewhat ironically, Gideon is an acronym for the Global Infectious Disease & Epidemiology Network, it’s that a) nobody would have time to read it all, and b) it’s less useful than, say, a trouser press at making you appear presentable at the conference the next day.

Sure, you could dip into a psalm here and there before bed, or take solace with Mark 5:33 but what do you gain, aside from copious dollops of moral ambiguity and the uncontrollable urge to self flagellate for sinning? What do the Gideons gain, aside from a massive printing bill and the knowledge they’ve destroyed swathes of rainforest in the name of a prophet?

Presumably the most plausible reason for the books — especially considering how bland and mediocre Travelodges are — is hotel management know that everyone who stays there requires salvation. Either that or it’s to appease their conscience over the ubiquitous surly staff and mouldy shower curtains.

One religion fits all

It’s also a worry in our multi-cultural society that sooner or later someone is going to complain. As discussed, the hotel trade in this country (among other places) go to great lengths to put the word of the Lord in everyone’s hands.

People of other faiths may disagree with this sentiment of whose Lord is Lord and it must only be a matter of time before somebody issues a jihad against Best Western for not putting a copy of the Qur’an alongside the hair dryer, or starts a Crusade because the King James Edition isn’t the true word of God.

To that end I can foresee the day where all bibles are removed and replaced with a Buddhist guide to finding true enlightenment, with the natty title Now Think For Yourself.

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