Oooh underhand-sarcasm-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, in debt, have been pre-approved for a mortgage on a villa in Spain, wish to drop a dress size in 30 days, and my vices are chewable Cialis, next door babes, Tramadol, and young girls … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could par-broil the fabric of time.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a coked-up junkie if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could be awed by such recentness as:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_tabber Create your own custom admin-side menu structure to augment the Textpattern default tabs. Assign a page/stylesheet to each tab and put your HTML markup, content, Txp tags… PostMy phone wants to kill me Automated calls. We’ve all had them. But what do you do when they go wrong with rather comedic results?

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Smashed strawberries and cream, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your toes and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.