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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, unhappy with my breasts, must send my username, password, credit card number, PIN and inside leg measurement to Fifth Third Bank (regardless I'm not a customer), will get £4550 back if I sue any company over mis-selling me PPI, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, college nymphs, next door babes, and voyeurism … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps an homage to the fuel efficiency of the Humvee. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could melt Lewisham.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a nicotine withdrawal patient if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it. Plug smd_prefalizer Ever wondered exactly what’s stored in your Txp prefs table? Wonder no more. Use this interface to browse, alter, create or delete preference settings until the novelty w… Post Why are you waiting for leaders to slow the pandemic? Like the COVID-19 virus itself, it’s impossible to escape the media coverage of it. People are angry. Feel helpless. Scared. That’s all normal. But pause, just a moment, and think.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Handouts for doggie, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your Christmas jumper and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.