Oooh underhand-sarcasm-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m gullible, sex-obsessed, wish to drop a dress size in 30 days, won't pull women unless I lose my beer gut, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, online dating, Tramadol, and voyeurism … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could implode.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a diver out of oxygen if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could snort up any of the following lines of recentness:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it. Plug smd_access_keys Ever wished you could easily restrict access to an entire Textpattern URL? Or part of a page? Or a file download? Now you can. Generate access keys for any URL and limit… Post 4 burning questions about covid-19 and the jabs I’ve been reading world articles/journals and still waiting for answers to a few simple questions. If I’m missing something, please show me where I can fill my knowledge gaps. I can’t see any logic behind indiscriminate vaccination.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Beatboxing Google, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your ears and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.