Mmmmm gritbin-welcome

c: | m: | f: What / Who

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, sex-obsessed, need advice on which stocks are ballooning/tanking, want a sexy MILF tonight, and my vices are cheap medication, compulsive dieting, curvy latinos, and Tramadol … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could contaminate your lunch.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a hamster on ice if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could tread one of the following recent paths:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_remote_file Allows you to handle remote files (such as those you host on file sharing sites) via the Textpattern Files panel. Very useful if you don’t have the bandwidth to offer lar… PostWhy you should never use your fingerprint to unlock your phone Unlocking your phone with a passphrase, password or pattern takes time. Using your thumbprint is virtually instantaneous, and it’s guaranteed to belong to you, right? Wrong.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled On being a Textpattern developer, but there’s always the possibility you think it missed the target. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your genitals and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.