Mooooo bovine-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m in debt, unhappy with my breasts, love to watch my p3n!s grow daily until it becomes so large it presumably shreds, require a college diploma in order to meet single women in my area, and my vices are chewable Cialis, curvy latinos, next door babes, and Tramadol … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a small ornamental shrubbery to one side. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could turn all your clothes pink in the wash.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a caffeine-deprived pensioner if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_pagicle Automatically split long articles into bite-size hunks which visitors can navigate between using a stylable pager. Split by text, regular expression or on particular tag… PostFootball violence is built into the game Ask anyone for ten things they associate with football, and pretty high up on everyone’s list is the word ‘hooligan’. Turns out there’s a very good reason for this, and it’s not what you might think.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Phacking gibberish, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your face and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.