Mooooo bovine-welcome

c: | m: | f: What / Who

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, sex-obsessed, longing to find out which 'someone I know' is interested in me, supposed to add my name to a chain letter so Bill Gates will make poverty history, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, college nymphs, Viagra, and wet chicks in my inbox … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps unexploded mines scattered in the most unlikely corners. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could barbecue your pets.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like MC Hammer's trousers if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could tread one of the following recent paths:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_pullquote On magazine and e-zine sites, sound bites and pullquotes are all the rage. The idea is to pull out a bit of the body text and style it in a side bar or breakout box to gi… PostMy settings are mine Oi, Apple! When I set some user preferences, have the decency to honour them because it’s my choice, not yours.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Driverless cars: an accident waiting to happen, but there’s always the possibility you think it both sucks and blows. For those who crave even more nowness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your fashionable leg warmers and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.