Oooh underhand-sarcasm-welcome

c: | m: | f: What / Who

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m troubled by the diminutive size of my manhood, unable to get an erection, need to consolidate my cock / increase the size of my loan, really should protect my computer against harmful viruses and Trojans, and my vices are illegal software, poker, wet chicks in my inbox, and Xanax … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a chocolate dispenser. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could ruin your appetite.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a coked-up junkie if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could snort up any of the following lines of recentness:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_crunchers Library of compression / decompression algorithms. Adds tar, zip, gzip, and bzip2 mechanisms; some of which are not available in all server setups. PostWhy you should never use your fingerprint to unlock your phone Unlocking your phone with a passphrase, password or pattern takes time. Using your thumbprint is virtually instantaneous, and it’s guaranteed to belong to you, right? Wrong.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The rusty nail of UI, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your ears and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.