Blog

c: | m:

Y'know things that are all the rage? Blogs. Everyone has one; or at least had one before Facebook, Twitter and Google+ diluted the realtime pool.

Since I'm nu-old skool — and watching endless streams of people writing #incomprehensible #twaddle u n me l8r lol @knickerlicker makes me long for a 'Shut up' button — I figured why not make a blog? The main difference here compared with other people's blogs is that instead of being limited to one topic, you get a little slice of everything all mashed up. Yay, I've joined the SpaceFace / MyBook revolution.

N.B. The views expressed herein are not my own: they have been carefully shaped by a barrage of mainstream media propaganda and fill-in-the-blanks guesswork. Also, I'm prone to lying for the sake of entertainment.

  • Why you should never use your fingerprint to unlock your phone

    · 819 words (sucks up about 4 mins)

    Unlocking your phone with a passphrase, password or pattern takes time. Using your thumbprint is virtually instantaneous, and it’s guaranteed to belong to you, right? Wrong.

  • Downfall of the ubiquitous hashtag

    · 712 words (vacuums up about 4 mins)

    The hashtag: the cornerstone of social media. Trends. Analytics. Fun. But I sometimes wonder if certain entities understand what it’s actually for.

  • Why we have a National Health Disservice

    · 2140 words (vacuums up about 10 mins)

    We’re told the NHS is in crisis and needs funding. Let’s step back a moment and find out if it’s true and who’s to blame. The answer might surprise you.

  • The letter of sex

    · 1508 words (munches about 7 mins)

    Gimme an ‘L’. Gimme a ‘G’. Gimme a ‘B’. Gimme a… ‘T’… ‘I’… ‘A’… WTF? I can’t keep up.

  • The curse of the intermittent fault

    · 1480 words (kills about 7 mins)

    When your boiler’s broke. And your water’s cold. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? A heating engineer? Or someone with a soldering iron and dogged determination?

  • Media, charity and the art of caring

    · 1588 words (kills about 8 mins)

    The problem with doing something for a good cause — say, releasing a charity single — is that any attack on the effort is automatically equated to an attack on the cause. Thanks, mainstream media.

  • Election 2017: the clear winners are us

    [2 comments] · 1082 words (wastes about 5 mins)

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa. That’s me laughing at the cocksure Conservatives who have given the UK another hung parliament. Which is actually fantastic news.

  • Adam Smith faces investigation for feeding people

    · 752 words (devours about 4 mins)

    Trading Standards have clearly nothing better to do than prop up our throwaway society. Commerce over common sense has to end.