Eee nun see ate

c: | f: /

Adele. Adele. Adele. How did you ever get to be in the top 10 greatest singers of all time when you can’t speak properly?

The latest Bond theme tune Skyfall is pretty good. It has the right mix of Bondesque thematic sequences and moodiness to match the (excellent) film. Despite my hero David Arnold not being involved this time, it’s a pretty good and rather catchy tune.

But despite a very passable Shirley Bassey style approach to the production, Adele somehow manages to spoil it. And I think I’ve figured out how: it comes down to her diction.

Most people when they sing don’t sound like their roots — in this case the arse end of London. But Adele manages it. The way she enunciates her words is like listening to a street fishmonger from Eastenders singing to sell their catch of the day.

Some people make mention of the fact she was eight months pregnant when she recorded it, but that’s no excuse. Even with her limited lung capacity, if I was the engineer I’d have been saying things like:

Good take, Adele, but can we try it again with just a little more… ‘oomph’… more presence please. Take your time. We can do a line at a time if you like so you can catch your breath.

And:

OK, try to enunciate your words a little more please. Your audience need to understand what you’re saying.

I never would have let the record out the door as it is, because here’s what the chorus sounds like now:

Let the sky fawwl, when it crumbawws
We wiw stand tawwl
Face it aww togever
At Skyfawwwwwwwl

Bah! Way to ruin a good tune.

I want your brainjar

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