Never try to settle an argument with the general public using quantum physics as the currency.
On one of my rare visits to the supermarket I put a bunch of BOGOF items into my basket. I bought ten distinct things so queued in the 10 items or less lane — trying hard not to gnash my teeth at their grammatical snafu of using less instead of fewer.
Unloading my 17 articles onto the conveyor met with the usual British passive-aggressive behaviour from surrounding patrons: a few stares, tuttings and general under-the-breath mutterings of ‘this checkout is only for 10 items’.
My argument is — and always will be — that because 7 of the products are designated as BOGOF by the supermarket, these over-quota 7 items technically don’t exist and I’m therefore justified in using the lane.
This argument of course fell on deaf ears; have you ever tried debating the finer points of quantum physics with a pensioner and a downtrodden single mum in Tescos? It’s no pic-a-nic, BooBoo.
In the end I gave up arguing, so you know what I did? Put a Next Customer Please divider about halfway through my shopping, and paid for both sets separately. The beautiful irony being it slowed down all the complainers behind me, too. Mwuahahahahaaaaaa.
Did this make you moist? Try: The Hurt Locket | Two identical snowflakes: statistical hokum? | Password=password | Faux democracy | The search for stupid | I love you, you observe Lent
I want your brainjar