Oooo vudge-welcome

c: | m: | f: What / Who

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m greedy, massively overweight, won't pull women unless I lose my beer gut, eligible for £3750 due to that accident I had, and my vices are college nymphs, next door babes, Tramadol, and Viagra … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit of a goat. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps an homage to the fuel efficiency of the Humvee. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could turn all your clothes pink in the wash.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a bad rapper if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could tread one of the following recent paths:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_each Allows you to iterate over variables and process each one with a Textpattern form. Very useful for processing user input from an HTML form or simply looping over variable… PostMy settings are mine Oi, Apple! When I set some user preferences, have the decency to honour them because it’s my choice, not yours.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Your call is important to us, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more immediacy you can find me on Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your face and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.