Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, troubled by the diminutive size of my manhood, may never walk again if I don't forward this to 25 people in the next 9 seconds, want a sexy MILF tonight, and my vices are cupcakes, gambling, illegal software, and poker … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a smattering of tits and ass. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could upset the Byzantine Empire.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a diver out of oxygen if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could tread one of the following recent paths:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_access_keys Ever wished you could easily restrict access to an entire Textpattern URL? Or part of a page? Or a file download? Now you can. Generate access keys for any URL and limit… PostWhy are you waiting for leaders to slow the pandemic? Like the COVID-19 virus itself, it’s impossible to escape the media coverage of it. People are angry. Feel helpless. Scared. That’s all normal. But pause, just a moment, and think.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Space is pretty big, but there’s always the possibility you think it missed the target. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your hat and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.