Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m in debt, unable to get an erection, won't pull women unless I lose my beer gut, eligible for £3750 due to that accident I had, and my vices are college nymphs, compulsive dieting, cupcakes, and illegal software … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could disprove Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a caffeine-deprived pensioner if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could snort up any of the following lines of recentness:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_countdown Show visitors exactly how much time they have left. Not necessarily until they die, but until some web-based event of your fashioning. Could be time until the next chapt… PostElection 2017: the clear winners are us Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa. That’s me laughing at the cocksure Conservatives who have given the UK another hung parliament. Which is actually fantastic news.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Strive not for unnegativity, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more nowness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the bandits awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your legs and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.