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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m unable to get an erection, unhappy with my breasts, could do with a cheap Rolex to enhance my image, have a well-meaning yet politically-troubled friend in Nigeria who needs me to harbour vast quantities of cash for him, and my vices are cheap medication, gambling, Vicodin, and wet chicks in my inbox … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a plethora of Easter eggs. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could upset the Byzantine Empire.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like that woman on the diet at the buffet counter if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could inject yourself full of recentoxyhydroxil with one of the following:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_random_banner As its name suggests this one selects random images or banner adverts. With a host of options for including or excluding banners using various article-based criteria, you… PostWhy you should never use your fingerprint to unlock your phone Unlocking your phone with a passphrase, password or pattern takes time. Using your thumbprint is virtually instantaneous, and it’s guaranteed to belong to you, right? Wrong.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled OSX Mavericks installation warning, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your hat and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.