If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m troubled by the diminutive size of my manhood, unable to get an erection, have just won an iPad, must send my username, password, credit card number, PIN and inside leg measurement to Fifth Third Bank (regardless I'm not a customer), and my vices are college nymphs, filthy whores, Vicodin, and Xanax … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?
At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps unexploded mines scattered in the most unlikely corners. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could barbecue your pets.
In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a fourteen-year-old schoolgirl without her iPhone if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:
Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_calendar A complete calendar and event manager for Textpattern. Each event can be scheduled, repeated, omitted, or cancelled and you can specify national holidays too. A suite of… PostWhen automation goes incorrect Text to speech still has a way to go before it become broadly useful and not inadvertently funny, it seems.
You might also enjoy the blog post entitled A personal appeal to Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.
If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your bits and laugh.
1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.