If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, unable to get an erection, longing to find out which 'someone I know' is interested in me, will get £4550 back if I sue any company over mis-selling me PPI, and my vices are gambling, Viagra, voyeurism, and Xanax … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?
At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps models in skimpy underwear. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could entice you to the Dark Side.
In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a caffeine-deprived pensioner if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:
Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it. Plug smd_slimbox This beastie is based on Christophe Beyl’s lightweight lightbox clone and is the precursor to the smd_gallery plugin. It rips images by category or ID out of the Txp data… Post COVID-19: it's not all about the numbers I’m not going to apologise for this coronavirus post. It’s likely to piss you off. That’s the point. Check you’re wearing your big trousers then dive in if you think you can handle it.
You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Take the bread... go on, have it all, but there’s always the possibility you think it both sucks and blows. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.
If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your fashionable leg warmers and laugh.
1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.