Pythagoras makes pizza too

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From the bewildering array of toppings to the decision about which size to order, the world of the spherical rolled dough base is caught in a tangle of marketing confusion.

One thing has always confounded me about the pizza industry: why do they quantify their products in terms of slices? On menus they state things like “Medium (8 slices)” or “Large (10 slices)”. Do they not realise their products are round and obey Pythagorean geometry?

If I was so inclined I could cut a 14” pizza into 6 very big slices or 36 very thin slices. Doesn’t change the amount of pizza I get: it’s still fourteen inches in diameter and about fourteen thousand calories. So telling me how many times they arbitrarily choose to run their slicey wheel over the product isn’t very informative.

Do they think we don’t understand inches? Have they been approached by the Metric Police and decided that it was better to drop any notion of size to save having people ask how big a 36.56cm pizza is? Or has someone brought a class action lawsuit against the industry because they once sold a pizza as 14” and it shrunk by a few mm during the cooking process?

Whatever the reason, there has to be a better way to universally indicate pizza dimensions than the misleading slice method.

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