Y'know things that are all the rage? Blogs. Everyone has one; or at least had one before Facebook, Twitter et al diluted the realtime pool.
Since I'm nu-old skool — and watching endless streams of people validate their own self-importance reduces my vocabulary to four letter words — I figured why not make a blog? The main difference here compared with other people's blogs is that instead of being limited to one topic, you get a little slice of everything all mashed up. I can now omit vowels and apostrophes with impunity.
N.B. The views expressed herein are not my own: they have been carefully shaped by a barrage of mainstream media propaganda and fill-in-the-blanks guesswork. Also, I'm prone to lying for the sake of entertainment.
Manual translation
· 387 words (devours about 2 mins)You know you’re in for something special when the opening paragraph of a DVD operating manual reads “When open, refit or demount the machine, our company cannot supply after-sales service.”
Don't cross the blades
[2 comments] · 204 words (wastes less than a minute)Marketing material should always be taken with a mountain of salt, but sometimes it would pay manufacturers to be slightly less terse, or at least consider the reader.
Ridiculyrics
· 907 words (devours about 5 mins)From One Direction to Kirsty MacColl who claimed there’s a guy down the chip shop who swears he’s Elvis, pop stars throughout the ages have tried to outdo one another with the stupidest lyrics.
OSX Mavericks installation warning
[2 comments] · 234 words (wastes about 2 mins)One thing is conspicuously missing from the preamble to Apple’s OSX 10.9 free upgrade: how bloody long it’s going to take to install.
The rusty nail of UI
· 909 words (wastes about 5 mins)Yet another case of bad user interface design was brought to my attention this evening. How is it possible to design a land line handset wrong? Easy if you’re BT.
In search of giants
· 87 words (wastes less than a minute)Internet search rule number one: be precise in your search terms or you might get back things more random than expected.
Sorry, Mr. Moss
· 941 words (sucks up about 5 mins)In the interests of clearing my conscience, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to my old music teacher at school. So in true Simon Mayo confession stylie…
When I grow up, I want to be...
[1 comment] · 587 words (laps up about 3 mins)… a rock star. A demi-God. A prize-winning sci-fi author. A porn director. Clearly the state had other ideas for broadening my limited aspirations.
