Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m gullible, sex-obsessed, supposed to add my name to a chain letter so Bill Gates will make poverty history, wish to drop a dress size in 30 days, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, filthy whores, online dating, and young girls … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit of a goat. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a smattering of tits and ass. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could stretch your favourite jumper.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a bad rapper if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_access_keys Ever wished you could easily restrict access to an entire Textpattern URL? Or part of a page? Or a file download? Now you can. Generate access keys for any URL and limit… PostNo, Google and Microsoft, it's really me Paranoia about online security is rife. But when safeguards are put in place, it helps to scope out how people might use them first.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The incredible shrinking foil, but there’s always the possibility you think it missed the target. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the bandits awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your porn collection and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.