Mooooo bovine-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m in debt, massively overweight, love to watch my p3n!s grow daily until it becomes so large it presumably shreds, feel like gleamifying my teeth, and my vices are cheap medication, compulsive dieting, Tramadol, and Viagra … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit of a goat. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps unexploded mines scattered in the most unlikely corners. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could shoot the messenger.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a nicotine withdrawal patient if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do the recent dance with one of these:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_xml Grab any well-formed XML document from the web and extract hunks of it to display on your website. You could get twitter info, a list of delicious links or any other dat… PostThe animals came in 2x2x2x2... In the face of true devotion, it’s difficult to separate fact and myth when it comes to the bible. Never one to shy away from a challenge, I’m going to try.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Hotel bibles, but there’s always the possibility you think it both sucks and blows. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your hat and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.