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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, unhappy with my breasts, need to consolidate my cock / increase the size of my loan, won't pull women unless I lose my beer gut, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, compulsive dieting, gambling, and next door babes … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could implode.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a decapitated corpse if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do the recent dance with one of these:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_horizon The Textpattern universe is usually limited to traversing visible, posted articles. Not any more. See what is coming over the horizon with this plugin. Tease your audien… PostFootball violence is built into the game Ask anyone for ten things they associate with football, and pretty high up on everyone’s list is the word ‘hooligan’. Turns out there’s a very good reason for this, and it’s not what you might think.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Le Cygne done wrong, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your face and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.