Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m greedy, unhappy with my breasts, could do with a cheap Rolex to enhance my image, must send my username, password, credit card number, PIN and inside leg measurement to Fifth Third Bank (regardless I'm not a customer), and my vices are cheap medication, chewable Cialis, illegal software, and young girls … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox and rentable. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps angry bees. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could entice you to the Dark Side.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a bad rapper if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_query If you ever hanker over raw SQL access to the Txp database but just can’t face embedding PHP code in your pages, this plugin is the go-between. Throw some SQL at the plu… PostAre we really saving time? Daylight bloody savings time is upon us once more. That weird tradition where we alter the clocks in order to… well, what the heck do we do it for?

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The proverbial woman, but there’s always the possibility you think it missed the target. For those who crave even more immediacy you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your ears and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.