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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, sex-obsessed, may never walk again if I don't forward this to 25 people in the next 9 seconds, really should protect my computer against harmful viruses and Trojans, and my vices are cheap medication, curvy latinos, online dating, and wet chicks in my inbox … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a small ornamental shrubbery to one side. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could ruin your appetite.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a decapitated corpse if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_thumbnail Textpattern is restricted to one full-size and one thumbnail per image. If you wanted more you traditionally had to do it yourself, employ a third party script or let th… PostNo, Google and Microsoft, it's really me Paranoia about online security is rife. But when safeguards are put in place, it helps to scope out how people might use them first.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled They call him Mr Lucky, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the interesteds awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your knees and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.