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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m gullible, massively overweight, have received a greeting card from a soulmate, need advice on which stocks are ballooning/tanking, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, chewable Cialis, filthy whores, and Xanax … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a plethora of Easter eggs. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could promote elastic waistbands as a viable fashion statement.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a cock-starved nymphomaniac if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could snort up any of the following lines of recentness:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_horizon The Textpattern universe is usually limited to traversing visible, posted articles. Not any more. See what is coming over the horizon with this plugin. Tease your audien… PostEU exit: the aftermath So the UK narrowly voted to leave the EU yesterday. According to my Facebook stream, the sky is now falling. Can we gain a little perspective please?

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Calling failed songwriters, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more immediacy you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your hat and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.