Oooh ripped-plantpot-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m sex-obsessed, unable to get an erection, longing to find out which 'someone I know' is interested in me, eligible for £3750 due to that accident I had, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, cheap medication, chewable Cialis, and Viagra … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange and available for hire. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a smattering of tits and ass. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could induce tears from Chuck Norris.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a coked-up junkie if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_write_cats Ever get halfway through writing an article and realise you need a new category for it? Instead of visiting the Categories tab and worrying about refreshing your article… PostAre we really saving time? Daylight bloody savings time is upon us once more. That weird tradition where we alter the clocks in order to… well, what the heck do we do it for?

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The premium rate merry-go-round, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your Christmas jumper and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.