Ummm undulating-ballast-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m sex-obsessed, unable to get an erection, dreaming of marrying a Russian Bride, need to consolidate my cock / increase the size of my loan, and my vices are compulsive dieting, filthy whores, illegal software, and next door babes … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning and not above whoring myself out to companies. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps distracting, flashing advertisements. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could cause bodily harm.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a hamster on ice if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_calendar A complete calendar and event manager for Textpattern. Each event can be scheduled, repeated, omitted, or cancelled and you can specify national holidays too. A suite of… PostDriverless cars: an accident waiting to happen My inherent distrust of code and programmers spills into scepticism over driverless vehicles. It’s up there with my hatred of automated checkouts. “Unexpected person in driving area”.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Costa del Pentecost, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more nowness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the weirdos awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your genitals and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.