Gossip: Noel Edmonds to sue Mr Blobby over drunken orgy

Jack into the braintrix

c: 07 May 2012 20:51 | m: 07 May 2012 20:57

Y'know things that are all the rage? Blogs. Everyone has one; or at least had one before Facebook, Twitter and Google+ diluted the realtime pool.

Since I'm nu-old skool — and watching endless streams of people copying and pasting the same thing to each other has no long-term value — I figured why not make a blog? The main difference here compared with other people's blogs is that instead of being limited to one topic, you get a little slice of everything all mashed up. Now Im dahn wiv da yoof.

N.B. The views expressed herein are not my own: they have been carefully shaped by a barrage of mainstream media propaganda and fill-in-the-blanks guesswork. Also, I'm prone to lying for the sake of entertainment.

Vorsprung durch Technics 07 May 2012 · 992 words (vacuums up about 5 mins)

Forget Meccano. Lego is where it’s at. Even now it’s the epitome of construction cool, as I recently refound out.

Street lingo 02 May 2012 · 260 words (laps up about 2 mins)

I’m so uncool. I’ve started campaigning for proper English usage. Word.

Wetter get a bucket 30 April 2012 · 1495 words (sucks up about 7 mins)

What links the weather, hose pipe bans, the stock market, children, and the environment. Why, housing. Probably.

My brain is speeding up 29 April 2012 · 121 words (munches less than a minute)

The perils of having an over-active hyperbrain that takes things in too quickly before processing.

A question of breakdown 12 April 2012 · 667 words (eats up about 3 mins)

You know that sinking feeling you get when a warning light comes on in the car and it won’t drive properly. Fat, saggy, pants.

BUI: Bad User Interface 04 April 2012 · 1322 words (munches about 6 mins)

What do cars, supermarkets, the weather and software engineers have in common? Poor design.

An incredulous look from Stef

An incredulous look from Stef