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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m greedy, troubled by the diminutive size of my manhood, have just won an iPad, longing to find out which 'someone I know' is interested in me, and my vices are chewable Cialis, curvy latinos, filthy whores, and wet chicks in my inbox … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a small ornamental shrubbery to one side. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could make chastity appealing.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a fourteen-year-old schoolgirl without her iPhone if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could inject yourself full of recentoxyhydroxil with one of the following:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_lately Show people what’s hot and what’s not on your Textpattern site. List the most viewed articles by popularity, or show a visitor what they’ve been looking at, or what they… PostTwo-factor authentication should be banished The title of this outpouring should be “2FA considered harmful” but articles containing ‘considered harmful’ are harmful and attract abuse from people who claim to know better. But 2FA is crap, and here’s why.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The hunger gaps, but there’s always the possibility you think it both sucks and blows. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the weirdos awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your ears and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.