Shhh badger-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, massively overweight, feel like gleamifying my teeth, will get £4550 back if I sue any company over mis-selling me PPI, and my vices are gambling, Tramadol, Viagra, and wet chicks in my inbox … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit cunning and available for hire. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps angry bees. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could par-broil the fabric of time.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a nicotine withdrawal patient if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could be awed by such recentness as:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_lately Show people what’s hot and what’s not on your Textpattern site. List the most viewed articles by popularity, or show a visitor what they’ve been looking at, or what they… PostFive on Politically Correct island What do you get when you cross an old book with idealists from a modern world, hell-bent on not offending anyone for fear of litigation? A damn mess.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Stab stab slice I'm better now, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more buzzwordiness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the interesteds awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your ears and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.