Oooh ripped-plantpot-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m massively overweight, unable to get an erection, really should protect my computer against harmful viruses and Trojans, wish to drop a dress size in 30 days, and my vices are cheap medication, cupcakes, poker, and voyeurism … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit of a goat and available for rent. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a plethora of Easter eggs. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could sew someone else's name labels into your socks.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a decapitated corpse if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could get recented up on:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_browse_by Sometimes you want faster filtering of your articles, images, files or links than by typing alone. Enter this plugin which adds a dropdown select list above the Search b… PostI lost my heart to Agnus, Denise & Paula What has 16-bits, exuded cool and made PC owners cry? Why, the Amiga of course. After tiring of BASIC on the Vic20 and typing strings of hex from the back of magazines into the Spectrum, the Amiga was my new main squeeze.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Friends that aren't real?, but there’s always the possibility you think it rotted a few brain cells. For those who crave even more instantitude you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your legs and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.