If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, massively overweight, have a well-meaning yet politically-troubled friend in Nigeria who needs me to harbour vast quantities of cash for him, eligible for £3750 due to that accident I had, and my vices are cheap medication, poker, Vicodin, and young girls … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox and available for hire. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?
At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a small ornamental shrubbery to one side. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could sew someone else's name labels into your socks.
In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a diver out of oxygen if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could be awed by such recentness as:
Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.PlugPlugins Programmers are a breed unto their own. Pains me to admit I am one, but it beats being an elk. Every now and then I lend a small part of my brain to my hands, wh… PostMobile devices make it easy to hack passwords If you use your mobile phone or tablet for any kind of Internet application that requires authentication — Facebook, Twitter or online banking, for example — you’re setting yourself up to get hacked.
You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Is there a wedding on or something?, but there’s always the possibility you think it both sucks and blows. For those who crave even more instantitude you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the bandits awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.
If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your porn collection and laugh.
1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.