Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, unable to get an erection, supposed to add my name to a chain letter so Bill Gates will make poverty history, will get £4550 back if I sue any company over mis-selling me PPI, and my vices are cheap medication, college nymphs, next door babes, and Xanax … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox and available for rent. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps unexploded mines scattered in the most unlikely corners. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could turn all your clothes pink in the wash.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like MC Hammer's trousers if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could get recented up on:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_calendar A complete calendar and event manager for Textpattern. Each event can be scheduled, repeated, omitted, or cancelled and you can specify national holidays too. A suite of… PostDriverless cars: an accident waiting to happen My inherent distrust of code and programmers spills into scepticism over driverless vehicles. It’s up there with my hatred of automated checkouts. “Unexpected person in driving area”.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled Trial of convenience, but there’s always the possibility you think it sucks. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the disciples awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your fashionable leg warmers and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.