Shhh badger-welcome

c: | m: | f: /

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m in debt, unhappy with my breasts, have just won an iPad, love to watch my p3n!s grow daily until it becomes so large it presumably shreds, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, chewable Cialis, college nymphs, and voyeurism … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit hatstand and rentable. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps models in skimpy underwear. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could induce tears from Chuck Norris.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like MC Hammer's trousers if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do worse than try one of these recent(ish) entries:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_multi_choice A select… case construct for Txp that allows you to compare one variable against a series of values, taking a different action against each match. A default action takes… PostProof of irrelevance You know those signs “You don’t have to be mad to work here… but it helps”? Those are in every room at the European Court of Justice. Nowhere else would someone float the idea of a ‘Right to be forgotten’ Internet law and have it taken seriously.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled All the 1s, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the minions awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your fashionable leg warmers and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.