Mooooo bovine-welcome

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If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m greedy, unhappy with my breasts, have been pre-approved for a mortgage on a villa in Spain, won't pull women unless I lose my beer gut, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, illegal software, voyeurism, and young girls … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit strange and not above whoring myself out to companies. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps some cute pictures of kittens. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could disprove Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a caffeine-deprived pensioner if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could do the recent dance with one of these:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_fuzzy_find Offer Txp site visitors alternative results for search terms they supplied and mis-spelled or didn’t quite type correctly. Not perfect, but pretty reasonable fuzzy logic… PostTargeted ads have a long way to go in the semantic web Personalised banner advertising on the Internet is an utter waste of money, effort and bandwidth because the industry have made some fundamentally wrong decisions about what constitutes useful metadata.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The nursery merry-go-round, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more social bandwagonity you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the bandits awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your Christmas jumper and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.